"Summer Break" 2015

So much has happened since I last wrote here, and I won't try to encapsulate it all at once because I sure I would miss quite a lot.

This last week Richard and I spent a long overdue vacation in Florida with my family.

One of the best vacations I've had the luck to have - mornings spent in the pool, afternoons visiting and exploring the city, and evenings eating good food with good company.

Even my grandmother and aunt came to spend a couple nights.

It is almost a shame getting back to real life, but I am happy to be well rested and prepared, if not quite yet ready.

It's officially fall

It's time for pumpkin muffins. 

And spending our day off looking for goats. 

Oshkosh rambling

At the end of last week I made a little solo trip to the city where I attended university. Oshkosh is a place that I will always hold dear in my heart. I visited old haunts alone, which I usually find reassuring, before meeting Ashley for dinner and long conversation. I miss that city more than I'd like to admit, though I try to remember that it is not the same time, we are not the same people, and it is not the same city I had back then. 

As I drove home I thought about the many times before that I had driven south from Oshkosh and how my family was always at the end of that drive. Now with my parents moved out of state it felt different, even knowing that Richard and Wicket were still waiting for me at the end. The night drive was so dark, I'd forgotten how dark that drive was, especially without the moon overhead. It felt a bit like the end, I suppose. 

Summer highlights

This summer was down right amazing. Here are some of the highlights. 

My parents and sister officially moved to Florida and we get to visit them after the new year. Here we are on the last day at the old house in Wisconsin. Pardon the haggard looks on our faces - we had spent those last couple days loading the trailer. 

I had so much more time with the girls this summer than any previous year, and Miss H is 4 now so we were able to go on so many more adventures. 

There was lots of froyo to be had!

I went to the Renaissance Faire for the very first time, Patti was kind enough to invite me.  

Let's talk about death

It has taken me a while to process the death of Robin Williams. 

Suicide is a concept I was acquainted with at a very young age, and it’s something that repeatedly entered my life through the years. It has taken away both family and friends. I still don't know what to say about the people I've lost. Once past the shock, and through the grief I can often see the reason why they saw suicide as the best course of action. But knowing why does not lessen our grief and it certainly does nothing to relieve the feeling that there was more I could have done.  

I was young when the man I called my grandfather committed suicide.  I was originally told he had simply passed and mourned him deeply.  When I was told the nature of his death my first reaction was shock and immediately after was anger.  I was angry that this man felt lonely enough that the action he took was to leave his loved ones all alone. I was angry that we hadn't done more, hadn't made him feel more loved and less alone. I was angry that I felt helpless. 

And I suppose that's what it's really all about.  Feeling helpless in the face of these tradigies.  In the wake we are told that there are warning signs, that if we just reach out, if we just care enough we can stop people from taking their lives. But these discussions wouldn't occur if it didn't still happen, if some people weren't still so far into the darkness that our lights cannot touch them. We need to do more for those who suffer from such dispair, and we need to be told that sometimes warning signs just look normal - the jokester still joking or the technology buff buying a new computer - and sometimes there's nothing we can do.

So thank you, Robin Williams, for all the love and laughter you have given to the world. 

And thank you, Trimble, for all the love you have given and compassion you have taught. 

Thoughts from others: The Suicide Paradox

http://freakonomics.com/2011/08/31/new-freakonomics-radio-podcast-the-suicide-paradox/

A Moment for Robin Williams

http://www.sfgirlbybay.com/2014/08/13/a-moment-for-robin-williams/

Present and future

Today marks the end of my fourth week working at the craft store. The hours are crazy early, and I'm still looking for a third part time job to flesh out my job hours. In truth I still need to adjust to the time shift and the sheer exhaustion of the work. 

My goals and objectives are shifting slightly and I feel the need to speak about them more openly with the people in my life. I often keep things to myself until I've followed them through, because I know I grow tired of working on a project whenever someone inevitably asks "What's taking you so long?" That is certainly one of the phrases I hate the most. It implys that I should be living according to their schedule and expectations. 

I no longer dream of setting up my own darkroom to use.  I no longer shoot the amount of film I once did and it has been nearly a decade since I last worked in a darkroom - I may not even enjoy it the way I once did. I still enjoy the creative process and making things with my hands. What I find myself in need of is a space to foster that creativity - to work without getting in the way of everything else in life. 

So I'm excited to turn the glorified closet into a studio, and hopefully with Richard working outside the house less we will have the time and energy necessary to build it. 

Job Hunt

I've accepted a part-time job at a craft store.  My first official day is tomorrow, and if my schedule is any indication of the future I should be working up to 15 hours a week and should be done with my days by noon.

N is for Natalie's New Job

I'm continuing to nanny for my current family through the end of August.  Depending on what the schedule becomes for the family when the youngest begins attending school I may continue on with them through the school year.  I know that I'll help out when they need, and I'm already planning to schedule once-a-month date with my girls, I know I'll miss them so much!

Time permitting I'll still coach the middle school Forensics team as well.

I'm excited to start this new job at the craft store, but I'm still facing the need for additional work. I think the best circumstance I could find now would be a retail job that begins at noon and goes till the evening.  Or maybe I'll just find a way to work for myself :)

Now if we could just find something for Richard there would be much less stress in the house!